The Big joke topic

Topic title say it all, I will start:

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead escaped from prison. They were running along when they came upon a dock. On the dock were three gunnysacks. They could hear the cops approaching, so the brunette suggested that they get in the sacks. So they got in the sacks right before the cops arrived. A cop kicked the sack with the redhead in it, and she said, "Ruff ruff ruff!" He said, "Oh, it's only a dog."
He kicked the one with the brunette in it, and she said "Meow meow meow."
He said, "Oh, it's only a cat."
Then, he kicked the one with the blonde in it, and she said, "POTATOES POTATOES POTATOES!"

That was hell of a joke really funny hardly control my self by laughing louder, anyway nice joke thanks for posting, keep posting funny jokes like this.

Well I have a nice one as well. Hope you will enjoy...

Son: dad "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Dad: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

Here is my one.

John and David were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, John suddenly dove into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there.
David promptly jumped in to save him. He swam to the bottom of the pool and pulled John out. The Medical Director came to know of David's heroic act. He immediately ordered that David be discharged from the mental hospital as he considered him to be okay.
The doctor told David, "We have good news and bad news for you, David! The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses. Since you were able to jump in and save another patient you must be mentally stable. The bad news is that the patient whom you saved, Mr. John, hung himself in the bathroom, and died".
David replied, "Doctor he didn't hang himself, I hung him there to dry".

Check this out.....

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-six," he said.

A timid little man, walked into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?"

A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?"

"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir."

"What?" roared the big man in disbelief? "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?"

"Sir," answered the little man, "it's a little four week old female puppy."

"Bull!" roared the biker, "how could your puppy kill my Doberman?"

"It appears that your dog choked on her, sir."

Once I came upon this pretty new temp standing in front of the paper shredder with a confused look on his face. I asked if he needed any help and he said, "Yeah, how does this thing work?" I took the papers from his hand and demonstrated how to work the shredder. He stood there a moment with yet another confused expression, so I said, "Any questions?" He said, "Yeah, exactly where do the copies come out from?”

Nice collection of jokes, really enjoyable thanks for posting and please keep posting.

Do you have a solution?

A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth.

Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?
Dentist: Wear a brown tie!